請幫我以「失眠的原因」撰寫一篇文章
An Insomniac Chronicle: A Nocturnal Enlightenment

in‧som‧ni‧a | inˈsɒmniǝ | 【醫學】 不眠症;失眠症
noc‧tur‧nal | nɒkˈtǝːnǝl | 夜間活動的

Write the following Prompt to DeekSeek-AI:

請幫我以「失眠的原因」撰寫一篇文章。這是一篇關於「失眠的原因」的開頭:「嗚嗚嗚為什麼我都睡不著,到底今天白天做了什麼事?我真是後悔,下次絕對不做啦!」,請以此風格,撰寫文章的下半段,需包含「睡前滑手機」、「咖啡太晚喝」、「心中有焦慮感」等內容。現在請將整篇內容,以「第一人稱」寫作技巧改寫,內容必須有趣且充滿故事性。

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DeepSeek-AI is thinking as below:

嗯,用戶讓我幫忙寫一篇關於失眠原因的文章,開頭已經給了一個挺有情緒化的段落,然後需要繼續用同樣的風格,包含睡前滑手機、咖啡太晚喝、心中有焦慮感這些內容,還要用第一人稱改寫得有趣又有故事性。首先,我得先理解用戶的需求。他們可能想要一篇生動活潑的文章,用個人經歷來讓讀者有共鳴,同時傳遞導致失眠的幾個常見原因。

 

用戶提供的開頭部分用了很多口語化的表達,比如“嗚嗚嗚”和“我真是後悔”,這樣的風格需要延續下去。接下來要加入的三個因素:睡前滑手機、咖啡喝太晚、焦慮感,得自然地融入到故事里,不能顯得生硬。第一人稱的話,可能需要用“我”的視角,通過具體的情節來展示這些原因如何導致失眠。

 

首先,睡前滑手機這個點,可以描述躺在床上刷社交媒體,結果越看越精神,甚至看到搞笑視頻或者讓人激動的帖子,導致大腦興奮。這部分可以加入一些幽默的細節,比如刷到前同事結婚或者奇怪的動物視頻,時間不知不覺過去,最後發現已經凌晨兩三點。

 

然後是咖啡太晚喝,可能需要一個場景,比如下午開會時為了提神喝了一大杯冰美式,結果晚上躺下時心跳加速,像在蹦迪一樣。這裡可以誇張一點,比如心臟像在打電子鼓或者參加運動會,增加趣味性。

 

第三個是焦慮感,這部分可以結合內心獨白,比如躺下後大腦突然開始回顧各種未完成的任務,或者未來的擔憂,比如工作截止日期、忘記關煤氣等。可以用比喻,比如大腦像綜藝節目一樣不斷拋出問題,或者像播放器開了隨機播放,無法停止。

 

最後需要總結這些原因,並給出一些解決辦法,比如建立睡前儀式、下午兩點後不喝咖啡、寫焦慮日記等,讓文章有建設性。同時保持輕鬆的語氣,比如用朋友的語氣給出建議,而不是說教。

 

需要注意的是,文章要保持連貫性,每個原因之間過渡自然,用時間線或者事件發展來連接。比如從滑手機到喝咖啡再到焦慮感,按照時間順序描述,從晚上到深夜的過程。另外,加入一些自嘲和幽默元素,讓讀者覺得真實又有趣,比如把心臟比作夜店DJ,或者大腦里的思緒像綜藝節目。

 

可能還需要檢查是否有遺漏的用戶需求,比如是否所有指定的內容都包含進去了,是否保持了第一人稱,以及是否足夠有趣。另外,要確保用詞口語化,避免過於正式的表達,符合開頭部分的風格。可能需要多次修改,調整句子的流暢度和幽默點,確保整體效果符合用戶預期。

 

【失眠系人類觀察日記:當代社畜的清醒修行】

{Note: 社畜(日語)是日本企業底層上班族的自嘲用語,源於「會社」與「家畜」,意思為「公司的牲畜」。一般用來自嘲或嘲笑,他人會為了企業而放棄身為人類的尊嚴,睡眠、飲食和與家人朋友社交都草草了事,拚命賣力地為企業效勞(不論是否為上班時間)。英語社會也有類似的用語「 corporate slave, wage slave」(薪資奴隸),被用在批判勞工剝削和血汗工廠。存在這類奴隸的現象則稱「薪資奴役」(wage slavery)。由於近年來中國大陸社會階層固化問題逐漸顯現,年輕人的工作生活壓力較大,社畜一詞在中國大陸逐漸流行,一般用於年輕人自我嘲諷或群嘲。}

 

(開頭承接)「嗚嗚嗚為什麼我都睡不著,到底今天白天做了什麼事?我真是後悔,下次絕對不做啦!」

(以下新增改寫內容)

「嗚嗚嗚為什麼我都睡不著,到底今天白天做了什麼事?我真是後悔,下次絕對不做啦!」

此刻凌晨三點,我的床鋪正上演著「殭屍躺板板」行為藝術。枕頭裡的記憶棉都被我瞪出人形凹槽了,天花板角落那隻蜘蛛都結完三代同堂的網,而我——還在數羊數到發現羊群裡混進了草泥馬!

 

🕶️ 兇手一號:睡前滑手機的魔性漩渦
昨晚我發誓要當養生達人,十點就抱著薰衣草眼罩躺平。結果手指像被詛咒似的點開IG,從前同事的二婚喜宴滑到北極光直播,最後卡在「柴犬學瑜珈」的教學影片。等我回過神,手機電量從98%掉到3%,我的睡意從100%直接歸零——等等,這年頭連失眠都要遵守能量守恆定律嗎?

 

兇手二號:咖啡因的延遲背刺
下午開會時主管說要「振奮精神」,我灌了超大杯冰美式。現在好了,心臟在胸口開夜店蹦迪,左心室打碟右心房打拍,連肝臟都跟著跳廣場舞。原來人體器官也會搞團建啊?建議星巴克推出「社畜專用無咖啡因提神劑」,名字我都想好了,叫「老闆覺得你很精神」特調。

 

🌪️ 兇手三號:焦慮感的多重宇宙
好不容易閉上眼,大腦突然召開緊急會議:「上季報表小數點對齊了嗎?」「房東訊息已讀三天還沒回!」「等等我出門有關瓦斯嗎?」這些念頭像綜藝節目懲罰遊戲的乒乓球,砰砰砰砸進腦漿裡。最過分的是居然重播十年前在課堂上放屁的尷尬畫面——我的大腦根本是AI生成的黑歷史放映機!

 

💡 破關攻略(來自某不具名失眠冠軍)

  1. 建立「睡前儀式感」:把滑手機換成讀《戰爭與和平》,保證三頁入魂

  2. 咖啡因宵禁:下午兩點後只喝「心靈雞湯」(字面意義的白開水)

  3. 焦慮收容所:床頭放「煩惱筆記本」,寫完立刻鎖進抽屜,儀式感堪比封印惡魔

 

此刻窗外傳來鳥叫聲,我盯著熊貓眼打開行事曆,鄭重寫下今日目標:「活著」。朋友啊,如果你也正在深夜閱讀這篇——別笑了快閉眼!我們夢裡相見(如果睡得著的話)( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

Add a follow-up Prompt: "Translate to English"
to DeepSeek

Screenshot of DeepSeek's answer.

DeepSeek is thinking how to translate:

Alright, the user wants me to translate the previous Chinese article about insomnia into English. Let me start by understanding the original content. The article is written in a humorous and self-deprecating style, filled with metaphors and cultural references. The key points are the three “culprits” of insomnia: scrolling through the phone before bed, drinking coffee too late, and anxiety. Plus, there are some funny solutions provided.

 

First, I need to maintain the playful tone and the first-person narrative. The original uses a lot of slang and internet lingo, like “社畜” (corporate slave) which translates to “corporate drone” or “wage slave.” The metaphors, such as comparing the bed to a “zombie plank” and the heart partying like a nightclub, need to be preserved to keep the humor intact.

 

Next, I should check for cultural references. For example, “草泥马” is a Chinese internet meme referring to the alpaca, often used as a euphemism for a curse word. Translating it as “f*cking alpaca” keeps the edgy humor. The Starbucks joke about a “Boss Thinks You’re Energized” blend needs to be clear that it’s a fictional product mocking corporate culture.

 

The structure is important too. The sections are marked with emojis and headings. I’ll keep those emojis and translate the headings accordingly. The solutions part should be concise and maintain the sarcastic advice, like reading “War and Peace” to fall asleep quickly.

 

I also need to ensure that the transitions are smooth. Phrases like “此刻凌晨三點” become “3 AM on a Tuesday” to make it relatable to English readers. The ending encourages readers to close their eyes, so keeping that friendly yet ironic sign-off is essential.

 

Lastly, verifying that all the humor translates well without losing meaning. Some idioms might not have direct equivalents, so finding the right balance between literal translation and conveying the intended joke is key. Making sure the final English version feels as lively and engaging as the original Chinese.

Insomniac Chronicles: A Corporate Drone’s Nocturnal Enlightenment

(Opening Continuation) “Ughhh why can’t I fall asleep? What did I even do today? I swear I’ll never do this again!”

3 AM on a Tuesday, and my bed has become a stage for “zombie plank pose” performance art. My memory foam pillow now bears a permanent dent shaped like my face. The spider in the corner has built a three-generation dynasty of cobwebs, while I’m still counting sheep—only to realize the flock’s been infiltrated by a f*cking alpaca!

 

🕶️ Culprit #1: The Hypnotic Vortex of Late-Night Scrolling
Last night, I vowed to become a wellness guru. By 10 PM, I was cocooned in my lavender-scented eye mask… until my cursed thumb opened Instagram. I swiped from my ex-coworker’s third wedding to a livestream of the Northern Lights, then got trapped in a “Yoga With Shiba Inus” tutorial. By the time I snapped out of it, my phone battery dropped from 98% to 3%, and my sleepiness evaporated from 100% to absolute zero. Since when does insomnia obey the law of energy conservation?!

 

Culprit #2: Caffeine’s Delayed Betrayal
During the afternoon meeting, my boss declared we needed “a morale boost,” so I chugged a bucket-sized iced coffee. Now my heart’s throwing a rave in my chest—left ventricle on DJ duty, right atrium clapping beats, even my liver’s doing the square dance. Who knew our organs could team-build this hard? Starbucks needs a “Corporate Zombie Blend” for people like us. Let’s call it the “Boss Thinks You’re Energized” Special.

 

🌪️ Culprit #3: The Multiverse of Anxiety
Finally closed my eyes, only for my brain to launch an emergency meeting: “Did I align the decimal points in Q3 reports?” “Landlord’s text left on read for three days!” “Did I leave the stove on?” These thoughts ricochet like ping-pong balls in a game show torture chamber. Worst of all? My brain reruns the time I farted in class a decade ago—proof that my mind is just an AI-generated cringe compilation.

 

💡 Survival Hacks (From an Anonymous Insomnia Champion)

  1. “Bedtime Ritual” Upgrade: Replace scrolling with War and Peace—guaranteed knockout by page 3.

  2. Caffeine Curfew: Post-2 PM, only “spiritual broth” allowed (aka tap water with existential dread).

  3. Anxiety Containment Unit: Keep a “Worry Journal” by your bed. Scribble, slam it shut, and pretend you’ve locked your demons in a vault.

 

As dawn birds start chirping, I update my to-do list with today’s sole goal: “Exist.” To whoever’s reading this at 3 AM—stop laughing and close your eyes! See you in dreamland… if we make it there. ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

(A self-roasting manifesto packed with cursed metaphors, turning sleepless agony into dark comedy. Comes with a 100% guarantee that you’ll screenshot the tips… and still scroll TikTok at midnight tomorrow.)

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